Today I knew it would be the last time I got to see my dad on this earth. I just knew it. I got there literally two minutes too late.
The sweet nursing staff were holding him and saying their goodbye when I got there. He looked so frail, so different, like nothing he is in my minds eye. I had planned to sing to him today. The only song he ever heard me sing…. unforgettable. Cause he is that to me and he made me feel that way to him.
I can picture him talking like Donald Duck and me laughing every single time, like it was the first. Or blowing smoke rings…that was so cool to stick my little finger through it. Or teaching us to fly fish…or pheasant hunt. Yay we never got a thing, but I remember the attempts and how patient he was with the two youngest noise makers ruining his quiet and scaring away his game. He never said a word about it.
As a dad he gave everything he could. Not perfect. But who is? He proudly served our country for 23 years, through two awful wars, left his family over and over again for all of us. Worked hard his whole life. Mom did her best at home with 8, then 7, then 6. Now almost sixty years later, she sits in confusion and heart ache again. My heart hurts for her.
Loss is not easy. Ever. But dad I’m glad you’re in peace and hanging with Jeff and Susan tonight. I hope you’re singing a good song. I miss you.
…that’s why darling, it’s incredible that someone so unforgettable thinks that I am unforgettable too…