After a relatively crazy travel schedule, I told the boss, I need some time off. So, I planned four days off at home. Four. Full. Days. For a working mother, heck a woman at all, that is a luxury! I imagine the scene, almost in slow motion. A June Cleaver grin spreads across my face as I dream of the lingering at home, the perfectly clean home, meals prepared, the entire day in my pjs (OK, that’s NOT June Cleaver, but she wasn’t real anyway). I’ll take a nap, do some crafts, bake, relax….well, you get the idea. Feeling like a child at Christmas, I almost giggle to myself imaging FOUR-FULL-DAYS to reign in my home. Alone. Doing whatever I please.
Because I can’t ever just “settle down”, I vacuum and dust the whole house, finish the dishes and shine the counters so I can relax. Once things feel relatively peaceful, I seek for the ever elusive, magical kingdom called, a NAP. (Insert sound of angelic hosts and a soft glow here). I’ve kicked my shoes off, settled in to my bed, little dog by my side, big dog on her bed. Deep exhale as I let myself go. I’m drifting, drifting, BAM! Eyes wide open like a gunshot went off, I jump up to go switch the load of laundry. After all, I can’t relax if I think about those clothes growing sour with time. Then, I’ll settle back down and rest for real.
Take 2 – settle in, deep exhale, drif….BAM! Phone rings in the other room. What if it’s the kids. They need me. I dash out of bed to answer…was a survey. Sorry about the curt refusal honey, you called me back from the magic kingdom for this???!!!
Take 3 – settle in, deep…BAM! Dogs hear something and begin to bark! It’s a knock on the door. I put on my best smile through annoyance and open the front door. Really? Really? Sure I’ll buy your $20 bag of carmel corn to help the Cub Scouts. Now leave me alone!
Take 4 – Settle in, ah, hell. Who am I fooling? Get up to begin dinner and fold the laundry.
Unfortunate genetics (sorry mom!) or personality has to be the blame. Try as I might, relaxing and doing nothing fits like a square peg in my round world. Somebody save me from myself!