This is a repost from my original blog – approximately one year ago.
Looking UP in to the face of my first born, I realize…things will never be the same. Not that they have been, but in my mind I seek same-ness, I cling to thoughts of when he was little and forget all of the little steps along the way. How did we get here…talking about his first place, future plans, buying a car, etc.?
Well, I guess it was the accumulation of those seemingly little things. The things that are easy to forget, but the very things that shaped our relationship. The first ear infection, the family trips, building sand castles on the beach, scolding you to sit still and quiet through a boring sermon, your first dog, unteaching you to give “head butts” in the face, riding the bike, helping with homework, moving and moving again, teaching you to cook and do laundry, heart to heart talks at bed time and a million other times in between.
Although I swore I would never say this, it seems like you were just a baby. And yes, there are times when I wish I could do it over again. But when I really stop to think I realize, no, I wouldn’t want to do it over. Sure there have been mistakes, failures and bumps along the way, but I am proud of you son. I’m proud of the person you are. You have a good heart. You’re respectful, playful, gentle yet competitive, smart and a really great person. You care – and that matters a great deal in life.
So I watch as you begin plans to begin on your own and think, I am so lucky. Lucky to have a nice kid who I enjoy and who will change this world in his own way. A kid who will be the best friend, the sweetheart to someone, the strength to others. How did we get here? On a journey of a lot of moments and a lot of love.